Tags
#IWSG, Andie Anderson, Ayn Rand, Insecure Writer's Support Group, Lois Lane, Melissa Marr, writerly insecurities, writers journey, writing
June Question: Did you every say “I quit”? If so, what happened to make you come back to writing?
Wow, I’ve just been thinking about this! Last year around this time I had a bit of a meltdown. Perhaps that was the start of this whole burnout nonsense? Anyhow, after getting five rejections (different projects) on the same day, I just broke down and cried and cried and… It wasn’t pretty. I’d received various rejections that week. Emotionally, I was in a very bad place.
I decided right then and there I was quitting this bloody business called writing, getting a real job (that pays in more than avocados) and being a real grown-up like all of my non-writing friends. They all seem so happy with their nine to five jobs, weekends spend braaiing and everything else that would utterly suffocate me…
The only snag was that all of my tertiary education is in writing. All of it. And I was completely done with this horrible business that causes carpal tunnel, sore eyes, blinding headaches and cramps in my back. No, I needed to go back to school. I was going to become a computer engineer. No, a graphic designer. No, a sales director for a huge company. No, I was going to become a hairdresser (me with a sharp object like scissors? Run, people, run!). No, I knew what I’m meant for: I was going to become Grand Empress of Africa once I’ve conquered the continent.
I was worse than a six-year-old deciding on what to do next.
My lack of direction didn’t deter me. I finally figured out that the reason all of my education lies in writing is because I’m actually good at it.
All the career choices that lay before me that appealed to me had writing at its core.
Copywriter. Copy-editor. Structural editor. Proof-reader. Journalist (whether hard-core like Lois Lane or a how-to like Andie Anderson didn’t really matter).
I remembered that apart from writing, being a veterinarian was the only other job I’d ever wanted. But looking at the state of our universities (in South Africa) these days, I should’ve done that when I was way younger and a lot more gullible.
I’d made the decision to be a writer, not a veterinarian, quite a while back.
Despite people jumping from career to career these days, it’s still the only thing I want to do. Despite the rejections, despite the health risks, despite the fact that I’m probably the weirdest person at any party (sharing details about serial killers and how they might all be aligned with the Dark Court probably doesn’t make that better) and despite the fact that I might’ve starved if it weren’t for my supportive – very supportive – parents, I still want to be a writer.
It took me two weeks to remember who I am, who I’m supposed to be, and who I’m going to be.
Crazy – by Gnarls Barkley
I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much spaceAnd when you’re out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too muchDoes that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
probablyAnd I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that’s my only adviceCome on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you’re in controlWell, I think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
Just like meMy heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it’s no coincidence I’ve come
And I can die when I’m doneMaybe I’m crazy
Maybe you’re crazy
Maybe we’re crazy
ProbablyUh, uh
Sometimes only being in a very dark place can remind you of your goals and dreams, of who you are and who you’re supposed to be.
Anyhow, after my little pity party, my competitive nature took hold and I enrolled in yet another writing course (perfecting my grammar couldn’t hurt), I churned out more short stories for competitions and for my online platforms, I found out more about various social media networks to grow my following (one reason for rejection was actually my lack of an extensive social media following – and here I thought stories were about the writing…), I became a judge for Cracked Flash Fiction Competition, I won a writing award – who said I couldn’t be the best writer in a community of Afrikaans writers? – and I took a lot more chances than ever before.
Every month I try to learn something new about writing/social media and share it on my blog. I’ve recently even claimed my blog on Bloglovin’ to extend my blog’s reach.
In the last couple of months I’ve done a lot more than I thought possible – though I still think I could’ve done more if I didn’t have to take March off because of that silly little thing called burnout. Does that mean I have Type A Personality? *shrugs*
Publishing wise, in the last five months I’ve done three guest posts and two of my short stories have been published in an anthology. I like the symmetry of that…
Maybe falling into that dark place was a good thing. It was definitely a good thing that my YA trilogy got rejected – I’m currently rewriting it to be even more amazing than before. Which is probably what one should learn from rejection: the story isn’t ready yet. And perhaps the editor who turned my submission down because of my tiny social media following had a point: I wasn’t ready to be published yet. I have a much better understanding now of social media and author branding than I had a year ago.
I could have given up. There’s no shame in giving up: it just means that it’s not for you. But I couldn’t.
So, now that I’ve given you nightmares, tell me: are you devoted to the art of writing? Are you a slave to the whims of the Muse? Have you ever given up writing – how long did that last?
Sign up for my newsletter and receive a free ebook. I won’t share your information and I’ll only email you once a month with updates on new releases, special offers, and a bit of news.
Debbie Johansson said:
Getting five rejections on the same day would be pretty tough to take. I don’t blame you for how you felt! It’s good to know that you’ve got such supportive parents and that you came back to writing. You’ve certainly put a lot of effort in since that day – you’ve put me to shame! I agree though that rejection means the story isn’t ready yet, or maybe that it’s just not the right place for it. Keep up your efforts Ronel, I know you’ll get there. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Debbie 🙂
LikeLike
Erika Beebe said:
Hi Ronel. I am happy you chose to stick with it. I walked away for 15 years, and my day job isn’t my hearts desire. You are much younger than me and much more wise to stick with it. Perseverance always leads to payoff. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Erika 🙂
LikeLike
kellygriffiths said:
I so appreciate getting a glimpse of a fellow writer’s mind, seeing a reflection of my own struggle. I love the poem, love your transparency, your action list. Perhaps my favorite post of yours so far. I’m glad I didn’t miss it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Kelly 🙂
LikeLike
patgarcia said:
Writing is not just the technical act of your fingers on the keyboard; writing is living. So true. I like that sentence. I also love the quote from Ayn Rand. I read her first book The Fountainhead when I was sixteen. Since then, I have read all of her books.
So glad you didn’t quit.
Shalom aleichem,
Patricia
Everything Must Change
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Patricia 🙂
LikeLike
Annalisa Crawford said:
Five rejections is harsh! No wonder you had a wobble. The problem is we don’t choose writing, writing chooses us… and it won’t let go!
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Absolutely!
LikeLike
emaginette said:
I guess I’m one of the lucky ones that doesn’t depend on selling a book to live. I write because that’s what I do. 🙂
Anna from elements of emaginette
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
That’s awesome 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Megan Morgan said:
Gosh, five rejections in one day would break ANYBODY. I’m so glad you came back from it and you’re finding success! Writing just won’t let us give it up, will it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Megan. Writing has its hooks firmly in me 😉
LikeLike
Jacqui Murray said:
That was a wonderful read, Ronel. I’m sorry about all those horrid rejections, but I’m happy you got through it with a better understanding of yourself. Go for it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Jacqui 🙂
LikeLike
hilarymb said:
Hi Ronel – good to read more here … and learn you don’t quit – because you need to write and you can write, as you’ve shown us. It’s great being amongst this group as there’s such a mix of characters and such a wealth of knowledge … here you will be appreciated as you write towards publication .. .it will happen! Cheers Hilary
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Hilary 🙂
LikeLike
Crystal Collier said:
Five rejections in one day? That is brutal. The tailspin totally makes sense. However, I’m glad you pulled out of it. Keep up keeping up, and good things are bound to come your way, eh?
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Crystal 🙂
LikeLike
Juneta said:
Lol you got me nervous and worked up with you. Oh, my. Glad you figured it out. Doing a similar dance.
‘ Juneta @ Writer’s Gambit
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Juneta. I think the important part was figuring out that no matter what, writing is what I want to do. Good luck with your dance – rooting for you!
LikeLike
C.D. Gallant-King said:
Writing is a ridiculous hobby/career/calling. So much turmoil, all entirely internalized. I suppose all art is that way. You just have to love what you do and keep going. You’re a great example of how perserverance will eventually start to show returns. Keep it up!
LikeLiked by 2 people
miladyronel said:
Thanks, C.D. 🙂
LikeLike
Alex J. Cavanaugh (@AlexJCavanaugh) said:
You hit the bottom and bounced right back up! Good for you.
You got paid in avocados? I never even got guacamole.
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Alex. Writing things for friends turned out to be profitable 😉
LikeLike
Lynda R Young said:
Don’t ya just hate it when more than one rejection comes in per day? There should be a rule to say they must be staggered 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Absolutely!
LikeLike
jlennidorner said:
I believe in you and your writing!
And I bet you’re a damn fine proof-reader.
Keep at the attack, because you’ll get there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thank you 🙂
LikeLike
raimeygallant said:
Braaiing! I know that word! *self-pats back* You’ve done so much writing! Way to pick yourself up and get back at it. I’m happy you haven’t given up. :P)
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Raimey 🙂
LikeLike
jmh said:
I can’t believe an editor rejected you because of your lack of following on social media! That’s just ridiculous. Lots of successful authors aren’t on social media at all–it’s a huge time suck.
I’m glad you didn’t let any of those naysayers stop you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thank you 🙂 I guess everyone has their own rules about what authors should bring to the table before they’ll publish – no matter what the rest of us think.
LikeLike
TheresaBarker said:
Ronel! Love this self-revealing post. You get the BEST ideas for postings!
– Yes, I have quit writing before. I stopped for 2 years just after my daughter was born, when I had had none of my writing accepted. My creative-writer-self said, I’m done. And I just stopped. Two years later, when I was coincidentally pregnant with my son, a little voice said, what if I wrote just for myself, wrote little free-writing fictions, etc. . . . and I started writing again. Serendipitously, I sent out a couple of stories to markets recommended by a writing friend who *had* published in the previous 2 years and I got both published in small magazines no one’s ever heard of (I got paid for them, anyway)!
Then when I was working on my Ph.D. I didn’t write either. I had gone to grad. school after collecting 40 rejections on my latest completed novel, and then getting stuck on *both* of my new novel ideas after about 60 pages. Didn’t write fiction during grad school, didn’t know if I ever would again. But when I graduated, almost the next week I realized, I want more than anything to write another novel! And now I’m back in it, and i had my first acceptance in many years last April. Plus, I’ve discovered the blog community of writers! So fun!
Glad you’re staying with us! You’ve got the light!
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Theresa 🙂 Sometimes we just have to listen to the Muse.
LikeLiked by 1 person
yvettecarol said:
Great post. Writing is a mental game for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Yvette 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Anne J. said:
I’m happy for you and for your conviction on who you are. It helps a lot during those moments of doubt. I’m an on-off writer but this year I decided to claim the writer in me. It’s so hard because I’m very much of an Accountant, too, and I love business and figures and all that. I might just be schizophrenic. Sigh!
LikeLiked by 1 person
miladyronel said:
Thanks, Anne 🙂
John Grisham is an attorney and his legal thrillers are bestsellers – he took what he knew and used it as the backdrop of the genre he likes writing in. Play around with genres you like, fun characters and add what you know – perhaps something amazing can come from that. Happy writing 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Anne J. said:
Ah, thank you. Makes me think… ☺ indeed, I might be surprised. 😆 Hugs 🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person