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This was my entry for Cracked Flash Fiction Competition on the 13th of May.

The Frozen Cave

By Ronel Janse van Vuuren

 

‘This was not how I imagined this going.’

Tony glared at Michaela before turning back to the entangled ropes. If he couldn’t fix it, they were going to hang against the rough wall of this seemingly endless cave-system.

The cold crept through his clothes, reminding him that they weren’t supposed to be there. Freezing tendrils caressed his face, making him shiver deep inside.

‘Can’t you just fix it already?’

He swallowed against the cold and fear, trying not to yell at her for causing the ropes’ entanglement in the first place. If she’d only climbed at a steady pace…

Slowly, his fingers froze in the protective gloves he wore. The ropes refused to budge.

Looking down, he could see her. Tony shook his head. No matter how much he and Michaela fought, he couldn’t let the frozen woman take her.

‘Tell mom and dad that I love them.’

He saw the confusion in Michaela’s eyes before he used his knife to cut her free. She shot up to the ledge where the others were waiting. Satisfied that he’d saved his sister, Tony met the frozen woman at the bottom…

I wrote this on a chilly – I mean freezing – Saturday morning with lots of rain and an ice wind. The setting just came to me and the ending was quite a surprise.

What do you think of this story? Anything you’d change or add? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.

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